Teenage Vulnerability

I had a dream that all my teachers kept up with all my social media accounts.

According to dream dictionary dreaming of twitter means I want to be better connected. I don't really want the staff room to have daily discussions on my Frozen obsession in 140 characters or my preference for my apricot coloured cardie.

When we write to the internet, we do not write to the world, we write to ourselves. Of course you've heard this with the endless cyberbullying phse sessions and internet deportment lectures "do not put drunk pictures on your facebook" etc etc. But for the non-cyberbullyers among us who ignore those lectures and decide it would be a better use of our time to play with our nails it is still relevant,  but not in the way our school sees it.

We view our internet homes as private. Secluded. Not noticeable. We don't put drunk photos as our profile pictures or empathise with the "legalise cannabis party" on twitter. But we are personal. We let others in. I don't believe that my school year read this blog (if you do, hi. Yeah. This has suddenly got awkward.) and I am far less private on here than I am irl. But I like it here. I like my small amount of internet hits that are mainly from Russia.

And yes, I won't deny, I would be mortified if my teachers told me that they liked my blog post on "meeting people off the internet" and should I really be volunteering to teach the younger boys about internet safety?

It's because my blog is like my bedroom. It is the closest anyone will ever get to having a metaphysical version of my personality. That vulnerability that is specific to opening up to someone is very present on the internet.

I don't regret anything I've written on the Internet. I just am aware of how vulnerable I am on here. Not that I'll ever show it. I just like writing.

Rip Socially Awkward Sophie

If you visit my blog regularly (if so thank you) you'll notice a couple of teensy changes. One thing, I've changed the design. Also I changed the name and url of the blog.

Why?

I wanted a change, I guess. I like it more. It isn't as soft but I'm cool with that. I've also spent about half an hour trying to make it snow on the blog but no luck.

I've changed a lot in the last term. I went back to my old school on Thursday and I felt different. I am now described as "smiley" which has never been me and I feel more confident about my ability as a person. I sing on public transport, much to the annoyance of my fellow passengers of the 7.25am train. I walk differently (admittedly that might be to do with the intense physiotherapy I have but still). I feel infinitely happy most of the time and happiness is the most precious commodity. I'm so lucky with that.

I apologise for the lack of posts. School (can I call it college as it is a school but I'm in sixth form oh the conundrums of my life) has been mental, I got a week long migraine (which is pretty stressful), had three Biology practical exams, been in the school musical and had to keep up with AS levels. I've got mocks in January, help me, but I want to post more.

So I'm writing a list of things I want to do on the blog and hopefully I won't lose all my creativity with all maths and science a levels.

I want to write more about books, review books and talk about my hauls. I want to post pictures that I take and write about things I love and even just posts I'll post as revision but you can learn something too and I want to wrap up my reading year in style (who's looking forward to the masterpost?).

2014 is swiftly decending on us and that terrifies me because I'm going to be 18 and these AS levels will affect whether I get into medicine as this is my final shot (dear unis, if you're reading my blog, one) congratulations because it's pretty hard to find and two) I really really really want to be a doctor so please let me in, love Sophie). But 2014 should still be filled with things I love, London and reading and lie ins and walks and mince pie and brandy ice cream and greek food and Twisted and yes, I'll say it, school and my wonderful friends and Taylor Swift and nails inc.

This blog post is basically a stream of consciousness,  but I like to believe it is a well 

written stream of consciousness.

I've missed you blog.

See you asap.

Sophie xxx

Sweater Weather Tag

Yeah, this is a youtube tag but Kayley Hyde did it on a blog post so I shall follow her with that.
And yes, I'm in an italic-y mood.

1. Favorite candle scent?
I don't actually buy scented candles because my mum doesn't like them and I live at home because I'm 17. I really really love the smell of smoke though so I could light matches all day long. Bunsen burners are the best bit of chemistry practicals. Especially when you use them to extract limonene. 

2. Coffee, tea, or hot chocolate?
I absolutely loathe tea, only like european hot chocolate and coffee is just slightly too strong. My huge problem is I don't like milk.

3. What's the best fall memory you have?
Does my birthday count?

In all seriousness, there's this street in my village with these massive horse chestnut trees and every autumn we'd go pick up conkers and it was lovely.

4. Which makeup trend do you prefer: dark lips or winged eyeliner? 
Winged eyeliner. All I have done this week is make my eyes look like Lily Allen's from her new video.

5. Best fragrance for fall?
I only ever wear one "fragrance" and it's malalia from hollister

6. Favorite Thanksgiving food?
I'm British so I don't celebrate thanksgiving though I love Sainsbury's cinnamon and raisin bagels that they sell across the road from my school.

7. What is autumn weather like where you live?
Cold, at the moment. However, it means I get to sit next to the radiator in maths and wear my Gryffindor jumper to school and wear apricot and khaki.

8. Most worn sweater?
Oh wow this is like Sophie's Choice.
This one from Urban Outfitters is my current favourite. I love Urban Outfitters.

9. Must-have nail polish this fall?
I just got Nail's Inc nail diary as my mum and dad are amazing so probably St Martin's Lane from Nails Inc.

10. Football games or jumping in leaf piles?
Leaves, obviously.

11. Skinny jeans or leggings?
Skinny jeans, obviously.

12. Combat boots or Uggs?
Combat boots, obviously. I love my DM's.

13. Is pumpkin spice worth the hype?
Never had it *cringes*

14. Favorite fall TV show?
I'm watching Bob's Burgers a lot at the moment. And, as always, Scrubs.

15. What song really gets you into the fall spirit?

I'm listening to a lot of Fiona Apple at the moment, as well as Keane, The Cinematic Orchestra and Imagine Dragons.

Gif tastic

On Remembrance Day

Every year for as long as I can remember I have attended my school's remembrance service. Since I officially "started school" I've been to four different schools and every year I stood through the two minutes silence not really understanding it. People died and I understood that and I'd heard the statistics of how many were lost. I still didn't relate to it. These were people from a different era and I have never lived through a war that I have perceived to affect me and when I was younger I couldn't feel anything for the hundreds of thousands of people who died and I would feel guilty about this but I still couldn't feel any empathy.

Three years ago my school took me on a week long history trip to France and Belgium which had been romantically named "The Chateau Trip." We were stating in this "chateau" which happened to be a large house with dorm rooms in the outbuildings. It was essentially a youth hostel trip to learn about the first world war and we visited several large graveyards to do with the Somme. In particular we visited this huge British (and the commonwealth if I remember correctly) graveyard. All you could see was row my row of white gravestones and at the back a round wall with names of bodies that weren't found. This made an impression at the time but mainly the feeling of peace you get rarely. However I came back home, only thinking of the large amounts of chocolate I had bought in Ypres and what was the start of my friendship group collapsing into anarchy. That big white graveyard left my mind and wouldn't return for another year.

I slept through the two minute silence that year. I had an agonising infection of tonsillitis and had to go to the local minor injuries late that evening so I slept in until 11.40. Still, I wasn't upset that I'd missed the silence.

Year 10 came around after the past nightmarish 6 months and that year I stood up in those two minutes. The trumpet sounded and suddenly it hit me. The 14 past years of not empathising were hit by this mass of emotion that I'd never felt. The big white graveyard had affected me.

I feel like we need experiences to relate.

I feel like we can't understand atrocities unless something links us to them.

I feel like we need to be educated.

I don't know what this blog will do, but hopefully it will do some good.

My Love for Musicals

So, my first blog post. My name is Heather and I am completely new to this, so I apologise if you find this post completely uninteresting! However I have decided to write about the thing I am most passionate about in life, in the hope that some of you will feel the same way: Musicals. I appreciate many don’t understand the point of people randomly bursting into song and dance, but I love it. In my opinion there is a song for every occasion, whether the occasion be having a shower, going on a date, or simply making lunch.

I wish my life was a musical. To be fair, I do sing. A lot.

Singing is the only way to truly express one’s feelings. It does so in a way words fail to do. When the conversation runs dry with a boy you like, you have to resort to awkward silence. However, in a musical, you can sing.  It doesn’t matter whether the song is an unaccompanied 2 line tune, or whether is it a huge chorus number with sparkles, dancing and jazz hands. People sing because words alone have nowhere else to go.

Musicals have memorable songs that you simply cannot get out of your head and they have incredible dance numbers that inspire you to dance even when you can’t. I have just taken up dance lessons, and trust me it is 1000x harder than they make it look! Most importantly the leading man is always remarkably romantic, and there is ALWAYS a happy ending. I challenge you to think of a musical in which there is not a positive message at the end!

Whilst what I am saying may be unbelievably cheesy, that is the point of a musical. And that is why I love them. As I am writing this I have ‘I whistle a happy tune, and every single time, the happiness in the tune, convinces me that I’m not afraid’ rolling around my head. Bet I have it stuck in your head too.

So that’s all I had to say. All that is left is to thank Sophie for letting me do this! Adieu, adieu, to you and you and you. 

In defence of: Fiction

I was in Biology the other day when my friend asked me the question: "why do you read fiction?" She reads non-fiction solidly in one particular area, and that's great for her, but I don't want that.

I replied with "I want to read everything." I went to Cheltenham Literature Festival early this month which was absolutely fantastic and Maureen Johnson said the big difference between YA readers and adult readers was that YA readers were better (contrary to public opinion) because they were less close minded. YA readers contact the author and they are a lively and thoughtful readership. I want to be this demographic. I want to be openminded and lively and thoughtful and I don't want to limit myself. If I just read science-fiction and fantasy (like everyone at my school) I would never have read John Green or David Levithan or Jeffrey Eugenides or Mark Haddon. Likewise, if I had only ever read contemporary fiction I wouldn't have read Ernest Cline or Orson Scott Card.

I feel like fiction is regarded as lower quality than non-fiction and that those who read non-fiction are brighter and more educated. I feel these judgements aren't fair on fiction. I find that fiction is better written as authors place more emphasis on how the words sound, if their sentences are nice to read and with non-fiction it's placed on the facts. To read fiction you are probably reading for pleasure and how is that not educated? It is the most educated thing of all. You are doing something academic for fun instead of watching tv or spending all evening watching youtube videos *cough* or playing Call of Duty.

Fiction gets a bad rap because it is used for many people as a method of escaping their day to days life in an unhealthy way. I know when I'm having a rough time I do immerse myself in Harry Potter especially and will spend a lot of time on Mugglenet. However, I don't think that reading fiction and escaping reality is a bad thing (in moderation). I read something on ScienceDaily about how reading improves health in sick individuals. I don't see how non-fiction boosts these things in the same way.

I read Fahrenheit 451 this summer which was the only dystopian book to ever really hit home (that said, I have never read 1984 and that's supposed to be terrifying). Fahrenheit 451 was written in the 1960's but the prophecies that were made in that book have started to come true. We are reading less as a society. This is where we have to let fiction step in. It's enjoyable and this will stop us from turning into that society.

I've written 600 words about why I value fiction. To be honest, you've seen my blog, you already know that. So why do I read fiction? I read it to relax. When I finish a book it gives me a sense of accomplishment. I prefer it to TV because there is so much detail you can cram in and I love that. Most of all, with reading Fiction there is a community. A community that's strong. It bonds people together. I went to Waterstones today and the bookseller at the till and I had this easy conversation in a completely different way that an assistant at Topshop and I would have. I have friends where our friendships are bound and strengthened by books. Sophie. Neelam. Chitra.

I believe that Fiction is something that shouldn't be undervalued. It creates a force so strong you can't quantify.

Hi!
so my name's Aimee and Sophie has kindly offered to let me post some pictures of some f my nail art!
 I'm still learning and am desperately trying to improve my ability to paint my right hand because at the moment I am walking around with one hand painted reasonably well while my right.....well you can imagine....

I thought I'd start with a Halloween theme as that's coming up soon!! modeled by my brother's girlfriend this is just a basic black and white look, perfect for a party!

Thank you again Sophie!! x

Guest Bloggers

So the other day I announced that my friend Aimee would post pictures of her amazing nail art on my blog. I was excited because having more than one author on my blog was a really exciting concept for me because collaborating will always be something I really enjoy doing and I felt like my blog was picking up speed.

And then I got 500 views in a day.

It's mental. I thank each and everyone of you for that boost in figures. It means a lot to me because I'm very proud of my blog and it gave me a big confidence boost.

It got me thinking though.

I love collaborating. I want to do more collaborating within my blog because I know that I want to vary my content, and I do try to do that don't get me wrong, but I want this to be a good thing to read for you, not just for me to write.

I am friends with some incredibly talented people. I read their coursework last year and it was phenomenal. Some have blogs, some do not.

I have asked some of these friends to write pieces for my blog. They're writing on anything they want and it can take them as long as they want, so I can't promise release dates.

I'm slowly asking friends one by one so to spread them out but I'm really excited about this.

I hope you will be to.

Announcement of the CENTURY

My friend Aimee is super-talented at nail art. She's amazing at it and the stuff she creates looks amazingly professional, even her right hand.

So for the first time ever, this blog will have another author. Her name is Aimee Grace, we take the same train and we both go to the same school. She takes Biology, Chemistry, English and History.

She will post nail art on my blog and I'm super happy to have such a talented co-author.

Sophie out.