Teenage Vulnerability

I had a dream that all my teachers kept up with all my social media accounts.

According to dream dictionary dreaming of twitter means I want to be better connected. I don't really want the staff room to have daily discussions on my Frozen obsession in 140 characters or my preference for my apricot coloured cardie.

When we write to the internet, we do not write to the world, we write to ourselves. Of course you've heard this with the endless cyberbullying phse sessions and internet deportment lectures "do not put drunk pictures on your facebook" etc etc. But for the non-cyberbullyers among us who ignore those lectures and decide it would be a better use of our time to play with our nails it is still relevant,  but not in the way our school sees it.

We view our internet homes as private. Secluded. Not noticeable. We don't put drunk photos as our profile pictures or empathise with the "legalise cannabis party" on twitter. But we are personal. We let others in. I don't believe that my school year read this blog (if you do, hi. Yeah. This has suddenly got awkward.) and I am far less private on here than I am irl. But I like it here. I like my small amount of internet hits that are mainly from Russia.

And yes, I won't deny, I would be mortified if my teachers told me that they liked my blog post on "meeting people off the internet" and should I really be volunteering to teach the younger boys about internet safety?

It's because my blog is like my bedroom. It is the closest anyone will ever get to having a metaphysical version of my personality. That vulnerability that is specific to opening up to someone is very present on the internet.

I don't regret anything I've written on the Internet. I just am aware of how vulnerable I am on here. Not that I'll ever show it. I just like writing.