December

I haven't been here for a while.

Two things have got in the way: university and my good health.

I've been living a lot and that's been wonderful. And while I have been experiencing London's extensive nightlife I have also been doing day time things: museums and walking to St Paul's (that's one of my favourite things to do) and going to the sky garden and baking. I love baking. It's a huge outlet of creativity for me. My classic baking time is right after the gym when I have all my endorphins and energy. This would be ok if I didn't go to the gym between 8-9pm. Often I'll finish baking at around midnight.

I love my course. It's just fab. It's engaging and tough in a way that school has never truly been for me. Like A Levels were tough but kind of in a super boring way. Now I have to really engage and that's been awesome.

I'll post more soon, I swear.

See you soon xx

Uni is odd

At the moment it feels like a youth hostel trip with complete strangers. I'm in a foreign room with yellow walls and share a kitchen between 7 lovely people. 

I'm loving it so far. Adoring it. Feeling v when will my life begin reprise 2

University is like the solar system

I have watched hundreds of videos about university on YouTube yet not one has mentioned the fear you feel before you go.

It's not so much a fear of not fitting but more of the unknown and I'll know I'll fit as the most popular idea for dress up is Disney and one of the main threads on the FB group is where the nearest nandos are to each campus. I mean it's ridiculous because it's not that unknown because I'll be at London, where I've basically grown up. I just have no idea who my flat mates are at all which is a bit scary.

I keep thinking about how university is like the solar system. No matter how far I go out (and tbh my commute home is 5 minutes longer than my journey home from school so I'm basically only at Mercury in this analogy) I'll always have home as my anchor, like the sun. I'll just gravitate round and round it, with a second home on a different planet.

On Results Day

I have had two "results days" so far in my life. I cried on both occasions, for different reasons. My GCSE results came in two waves and my worst results were released first and I honestly didn't think I had got into my sixth form. My AS results were much better than I could have ever anticipated but all the tension before my results came out built up and my results were such a wave of relief that I sobbed in the car home. Happy sobs.

I've had plenty of "results" throughout my life so far: my education has been filled with entrance tests and interviews (for schools rather than jobs) and music exams and internal exams. Just this November (which feels like a lifetime ago) I stayed up until midnight with one of my best friends, Nithya, to get our BMAT results.

The difference between every other result is that results day is a national thing. Everyone anticipates. And you know when it's coming. It's not like university offers or music exam results or even class tests. And everyone you know wants to know on the day you get it and that's a cause of stress. 

I am much less stressed this year though. I've worked so hard this year and asked for help when I needed it that there is no way I could have done better than what I get. If I don't get into my university I'll be gutted, truly truly gutted, but it's probably fate and instead I'll meet people that are influencial in shaping Birmingham Sophie or clearing Sophie. That rational thought process does calm me down a lot even though inner Sophie is screaming "what you've worked so hard you deserve what you were predicted after mocks, how dare you."

I just hope I've done well enough, I guess. I've done the best I can do.

Summer of DSLR

I'm a terrible blogger, sorry. I'm slap bang in the middle of my A2s (why am I not studying) and it has consumed me. I have a ton of half finished drafts about leaving school and role models and I AM SO BUSY RN.

I want to take photos this summer. Not iPhone photos, proper photos on my DSLR. I've been too ill to carry it but I am slowly getting better so I must must must get back in the photo game because in the past I have taken some beautiful photographs:

This project was inspired in particular by this

On books, identity and health.

I am currently in a reading slump. Well, I have been since February, really. I read ACOTAR by Sarah J Maas in under 24 hours and absolutely adored it. I've missed that total absorbing phenomena that is reading but at the same time Sarah J Maas had an ability to make me passionate about a plot line and her characters in a way regular books don't. So maybe I miss good books but really I think I miss reading. 

Reading has always been such an integral part of my identity, especially when I was ill. It kept me together through everything but also it gave me this purpose. Everyone was getting involved in music and drama and sport but I couldn't do any of it but I still had the magical talent of being able to read at 500000 miles an hour. So when I examined who I was I was a "reader." Also, reading is not a physical phenomenon so I have always been able to do it. I love playing piano and guitar but I hurt after playing them even for 10 minutes. I love going to London but that is exhausting. I love writing but that hurts after a while. Reading was never a problem.

My mother reckons that when I'm unhappy, I don't read. I haven't felt particularly unhappy since February though but I am stressed. I have firmed my uni for next year and it's perfect. Truly perfect for me. If I miss my grades I'll be gutted. So there's that. But also I'm applying for specific accommodation for my health and DSA and I'm just busy with a lot of admin. I realised how stressed I was on Tuesday when I took a deep breath and breathed out at a wave of relief hit me. That doesn't usually happen. I just need to calm down and stop chasing perfection: "oh but if I hadn't crossed out the right answer I would have got an A* in the mock".

I'm slightly rambling, sorry. Often I plan out what I'm going to write but I just really wanted to examine and share my headspace and I don't think planning helps that goal.

I get my final school report tomorrow. I have 8 days left of school ever before my leavers ceremony. I'm really truly growing up into the world. I'm voting tomorrow. I'm listening to Lily Dreams On by Cotton Mather because it gets my mood right now. I want to write more. I also want to write about identity because I find it interesting to explore.

I'll see you next time xx

Current mood: so. busy.

I guess I haven't been on here for a while and I should explain why.

I am currently revising for my A2 exams and I am throwing myself into it. I need AAB to get into my firm choice (which I couldn't not be happier with) and the fear of missing my grades is propelling me into a workaholic. I am literally obsessed with getting these grades. 

I am also finally well enough to have some vague semblance of a social life so that's taking up the very little free time I have. Honestly, it's nice to have stuff going on: for example tomorrow I get my chemistry mock results back, then I have a C3 mock, then in the afternoon I am going to my friend Tilly's for birthday cake and then I have to rush home to start babysitting at 8.50. It's a bit mental but I'm fine with that.

So yes, I will return. 

Soon, I swear.

Sophie xx

Currently listening: Smoke + Mirrors by Imagine Dragons

On Education

I read an article on Rookie about leaving high school and since I read it I just want to educate myself. I have a real urge to read non-fiction and articles on the New York Times and Rookie because I really just want to push the boundaries of my knowledge and empathy because I believe the two are very closely linked.

Ever since I was very young I have enjoyed education, specifically in terms of Biology. I used to read books on the human body and play Learning Ladder in Geography and English and Maths and I had a Sesame Street game. However, I've found the A Level syllabus fairly limited. Don't get me wrong, not having to do French or History is great, but I often feel that I get a very narrow education with it. I really like how specific the syllabus is, however, I feel like there is very little emphasis on finding things you enjoy in a topic. For example, I really enjoy learning about the nervous system in terms of pain but I have only learned about the mechanisms in which an impulse occurs. That basic knowledge is useful, but there needs to be more emphasis on relating it to your real life interests.

I do have a Biology teacher who attempts to do this but she really explores her interests rather than ours. She also sets a lot of work which I don't think stimulates this kind of learning because by the time I've finished all that work I'm too tired to read and write and I just end up watching PLL.

My school does push me with this which I am grateful for. We were made to do a 5000 word essay last year and as much as I moaned about citations I do believe it was a good experience for me. I learned how to research, write scientifically and it really made me feel like I was an expert on the topic I picked. I think developing these skills was a really good thing for me because we're not taught skills enough. I have been in school for 15 and a half years now but I've never been taught to write or revise or draw or budget. I've had to work them out as I go, and never in an environment where I wasn't doing the real deal. I've never been encouraged to keep a personal diary or sketchbook. I wish my education had included these things.

I think this is all coming from my current headspace which is very much a headspace of self improvement as my health improves. I want to become a better writer and live in a better space and try to become as educated as I can be. I feel that I haven't had the energy ever since May 2012 to do all this and now I have it I want to pour it into making uni-me the best me. I'm currently reading a book about pain where one woman felt like she had been asleep for 10 years and now she had to catch up on everything. That's how I'm feeling at the moment. Catching up.

#DearMe

I don't quite know where to start this letter. I'll give you some basic advice: get a fringe, get a warmer foundation and foundation brush and get contacts.

Be braver. I am so very proud of you because you are very self starting, but be brave. Talk to people when you have problems. Write when you have problems because it will really help you in year 9 to understand the problem.

You have Hypermobility Syndrome. Get the diagnosis and get ultrasound on your feet.

Your teachers are not always right. Remember that you are just as much as a person as they are and they do not have a right to bully you. Stand up for yourself and remember that just because you are less physically capable doesn't mean they are allowed to be cruel. You are far more accomplished than they will ever be.

You don't need 10A*s to be happy, Sophie. I didn't (you would be ashamed of my GCSEs) but I'm happy. And you'll learn to miss your expectations at GCSEs, not AS levels. And that's nice.

Move schools at sixth form. Don't stand for being ill. If something makes you terrified, it's probably not the right choice. Don't stop reading, don't stop writing. Take English and Maths AS, not Physics and Geography.

You are wonderful and oh so flipping smart.

If you're worried about me, don't be. As Hayley would say:

Things are looking up, oh finally

Decluttering

It was a New Years Resolution of mine this year to try to declutter my room.
I felt very overwhelmed with my room last year and I'm trying to make an active change to make it feel more calm and more like me. It was really a push to make my room feel like it belonged to an adult Sophie rather than a child Sophie, the Sophie who's going to uni in 7 months and maybe a year abroad in the USA in 18 months; I just don't want as much stuff when I make these changes in my life. I've done some great things so far: I cleared out all of my old maths exercises from last year, I've digitised my physics notes, I've reorganised my fairy lights so they look fly, I've got rid of a lot of old stationary, jewellery, make up, at least two bin bags of clutter and a bin bag or two of old clothes.

I've found looking at pictures of decluttered spaces really helpful, specifically UFYH on Tumblr and Rosianna's instagram and room tour. With Rosianna it impressed me how someone could get rid of so much stuff, including really personal items. I don't think I'll ever get to the point where I have that little stuff because of my boxes and boxes of American Girl clothes and my incredible dolls houses (seriously, I got a child's dolls house age two or three and it was a project of mine which I finished at 10 where I completely refurnished, rewallpapered, refloored and put in lighting with the help of my Dad and all of my family members who gifted me pieces of furniture including an aga and building blocks for children and mini towels and little fimo sausages I made with my Mum. I took it from a clunky child's toy to a beautiful little adult house by browsing for hours on the dolls house website. It's still one of my proudest achievements.)

I read the Konmari book and though a different opinion was helpful, I found it a little unrealistic. My hair straighteners do not give me a "spark of joy" but my straightened hair does. And where does a spark of nostalgia come into it? It feels a lot like joy. Also, I can't empty my handbag every day. I don't have the time to repack my bag in the morning: what if I forgot my headphones, train pass or (the worst of all) my purse?

I think the reason I struggle with clearing out things is because of two reasons: they document parts of my life and I get emotionally attached. Sometimes it's things like a certain person gave me an item and they're a really important person in my life or I got the item in a specific place that I have memories attached to. I've struggled to give away my pink dress I got 6 years ago even though it's falling apart because I loved it for two-three years.

The main things I struggle to throw away are: jewellery and earrings, craft supplies, books and handbags. In terms of jewellery and earrings it's ridiculous because I only wear 4-5 pieces because I'm so overwhelmed by the volume of pieces. I really want to wear some pieces I forgot I had: the blue and pink necklace I got in Paris, my mum's old choker which works beautifully with my school's dress code. Some I can probably easily get rid of ie my old accesssorize pieces but my favourite things from when I was 10 will be harder. Craft supplies are difficult because I got loads until I was 15 when I took GCSE art and began to hate it. I'm starting to do it again and I love it and I can't quite bring myself to throw out my coloured paper. In terms of my books: my parents agree to find my book habit which is extremely kind of them. However I've got to the point where I've filled up three bookshelves and I have no more space so I do need to clear out. Approaching donating books is hard because they so kindly pay for everything. Also, in the height of my illness last year I couldn't really do anything but read, and my mum would drive me to the bookshop and let me pick books out to make me feel a bit better. That feeling of escapism makes me so attached to my books. With handbags: I currently can't wear handbags apart from rucksacks and clutches so I should throw out my shoulder bags, right? I really love a lot of my handbags which makes it really difficult. I'm keeping them for when I'm strong, but right now they take up a lot of space.

Hopefully I'll start to come to terms with throwing away things I don't really need. I've really been enjoying the clearout process so far and I feel much less overwhelmed.

Sophie

Pillows!

As many people know I abhor exclamation marks but I can't quite capture my excitement

Basically, YOU CAN NOW BUY PILLOWS FROM ME (also other things but it's the pillows that really excite me)

I set up a society6 and I've added two drawings and this is really exciting for me. I haven't done much art since GCSE and I'm starting again and that's really exciting

You can also buy tote bags, prints, mugs and clocks. You can buy it all here

Plus there is free worldwide shipping today.

Current mood: holy moly U6th

I have been hectically busy recently and I feel like this is the point where I need to try and take a breath before next half term.

I got the flu which wiped out two of my January weekends and I struggled with that. I missed school, including A2 assessed practicals which I had to catch up. 

I had mocks at the start of term which went super well and that made me ecstatic. That was probably the last true break I had over the last month and a half. School has been ramping up the pressure as we get closer to our A2s which I'm trying to manage and sometimes I have to accept that a piece of work is rubbish and that's fine.

I've been physically unstable as well. I've subluxed (partially dislocated) my shoulder twice, plus I'm increasing my cardio extremely quickly. I mean, the outcome is in a month I'll be at a "normal level" of cycling and being fit and having energy will be wonderful but right now I'm exhausted all the time. I come home from school and have to take an hour long bath just to relax my muscles enough to walk.

I've started uni research. I'm looking round my top three (UCL, Kings, Birmingham) and talking about study abroad programs and disability aid and DSAs. I'm enjoying it and I am looking forward to the day I drop my commute. I loathe commuting and I'm excited to have my own space away from home.

I really want to start projects as well though. I'm currently clearing out my bedroom which I am loving because I feel like I'm so ready to get to a new stage in my life. I've launched a new tumblr which is a self-motivation thing and I'm working quite hard on making it good for the community instead of being self-indulgent. I want to write reviews of books on here, I want to read more, I want to write in my diary more and I want to start writing the book I started last year because I adore the concept. The plot needs some refining 

Hopefully I'll write more on here?

Currently listening: Stacy's Mom by Fountains of Wayne

Currently reading: I am the Messenger by Markus Zusac

On Body Image

I'm not going to talk about body confidence today in the classic sense of the term. There is so much discussion on learning to love yourself and your nose and your eyes and your bum but I want to talk about illness.

This all came into my consciousness last Friday in Maths. A boy said to me "well your hair is rubbish" in one conversation. This was a stupid thing to say as I'd just had it cut and coloured so I could not be more confident about my hair. I started thinking about which comments would wound me and make me feel low about myself. I realised in that moment that I couldn't be wounded by conventional body comments.

I'm not saying that my body is the perfect body visually, I've just learned how to work with the bits I don't like so I now do like them. I'm not sure how I got to this point so I can't give advice on how to feel good about your body, and I'm sorry about that.

My issue with my body is my hypermobility syndrome. I hate my body because it represents everything that I can't achieve with my lifestyle, I can't spontaneously go to events because I haven't rested beforehand, I can't get a job because I can't handle my commute let alone a job, I can't have a relationship because I don't have the energy etc etc. So while I do have a good relationship with my waist and my thighs, I don't have a good relationship with the way my body hinders me. 

Then, of course, my body is a physical manifestation for my chronic pain that exists all the time in every muscle in my body including my hands, my face, my toes as well as the conventional back, leg, arm and core pain. My relationship with my body is related to my relationship with pain and my relationship with my lifestyle.

Which leads to the question I've been contemplating - can words hurt when it comes to my own self perception of my body? The funny thing is it depends who's words. My consultant can make me hate my body and my physio probably could, but I am the main problem with my own self worth. A lot of the time I have these thoughts (especially at night) which stem from "I am never going to get better" and "this is my life for the next 70 years" and while neither may be true it's the most upsetting and wounding comment anyone could make about my body. If it came from somebody that isn't a medical professional it's easier to deal with because do they really know that much about Ehlers-Danlos type 3? However when it comes from me it is so wounding because I do know my body really well because I can feel it flex and struggle with everyday activities. 

My mum met someone who has a slightly different variant of EDS and asked me if I'd like to meet up and a sense of panic washed over me because there is nothing I hate more in the world that my illness and meeting someone who's main reason for rapport is the thing I loathe is a terrifying concept.

I fear my body.

I dislocated my shoulder today (being prone to dislocations is a major EDS side effect). This is the first time I've dislocated something major and I was so scared for the rest of the day because a tiny action caused me pain. With pain comes resentment which leads to more hate.

Chronic illness is very hard to mentally manage because it makes you hate the body that you live in but I'm trying to get better because that will make my life better, and maybe one day I won't hate my body. I'm never going to love it because I can't ever love something that has made me so unhappy but I'm getting there. Slowly and steadily.

The British Tag

I was going to write a long paragraph about my love for queen and country but then I got the patriarcy and patriotism confused

1. How many cups of tea do you have a day? How many sugars?

I drink tea mainly only on sick days and week days where I'll drink anywhere between 1-5 cups of tea a day. If I'm in lessons all day I'll normally have 2-3 whereas if I'm just studying I drink it obsessively.

Also, I drink Cranberry and Raspberry tea so no milk no sugar.

2. Favourite part of your roast?

As a veggie I'm not a huge roast fan but I love a good carrot

3. Favourite dunking biscuit?

I don't dunk biscuits mainly because tea is a way for me to eat sugar without any calories. Also, most biscuits are fairly mediocre though I will never say no to anything german or an oatmeal and raisin cookie.

4. Favourite quintessentially British pastime?

I adore going for high tea with cakes and scones and those tiny sandwiches, especially at the Maids of Honour outside Kew. I also love Kew and punting (punting is a where you move a boat with a scaffolding pole. Freaking hard to master but when you do you feel like the king of the world. Very Oxford/Cambridge thing to do)

5. Favourite word?

Currently: wavved or a number of british swear words

I also like hyperbole, though I don't know what it means

6. Cockney rhyme slang?

No. 

I went to Columbia Rd with my friend Brodie and the cash point language was either English or Cockney in which I fell about laughing  

7. Favourite sweet?

Dolly mixture but they aren't veggie so either veggie percy pigs, veggie M&S fruit pastilles or tablet

8. What would your pub be called?

The Lioness because one - gryffindor pride and two - female power

9. No.1 British person?

Other than people I know (my consultants and physio are up there) it would be JK Rowling, Lexi Casale and Rosianna Halse Rojas as a close third. Prince Harry is also fairly high up that list 

10. Favourite shop / Restaurant?

(Deep breath) The Breakfast Club, Foyles, The Gate, M&S food and Tophop. This fluctuates a lot but those are my current loves 

11. What British song pops into your head?

The 1966 World Cup song (we're in it for England ENG-GA-LAND) or Wonderwall by Oasis. I mean I love other British music but these are the most "British" to me

12. Marmite?

Ew.

Hopefully that shows the tea drinking, punting side to me. I really love our culture

Night xx

Going Up: January

t's a long month but let's make the most out of the freezing cold and central heating

Going up: UO beanies

I found a good way to fight off the cold winter months is a good beanie. They're super grungy and also have the plus side of making your ears warm  (cold ears are one of the nastiest parts of being cold). Also, beanies can be worn inside so it doesn't leave the possible hat-hair complication. I have a UO beanie from two years ago, and even though they are pretty expensive, they achieve maximum grunge. 

Going up: Mulan

Mulan is probably my favourite post-Christmas wintery movie. Don't get me wrong, Frozen and Chalet Girl are up there but Mulan is just very 90's. 

"But Sophie, is it truly set in winter?"

Arguably, no, but a large portion of the action occurs in the snow and the mountains. It's a very comforting film in the winter not to mention Mulan is the first Disney princess to truly kick-butt which I adore. 

Going up: Bo$$

This song is fantastic. Lots of female power, fantastic harmonies and it just makes you feel like you can kick butt. Go get those resolutions. (I've realised that January is the month of kick-butt)

Going up: Marathons

Of course I don't mean running, who do you take me for? I am referring to the large amounts of spending time indoors, the small amount of post-Christmas cash so no social life and the lack of exams which means January is the perfect time to marathon shows. I've now finished Veronica Mars (and watched the movie and read the two companion novels) and am on series 2 of PLL. I must catch up.

What's going up in your January?

Changes

I am goal obsessed as a person. I have resolutions and to-do lists and short term goals and a 1-year plan (get good grades, get good accomadation, go on holiday, go to ikea, go to uni).

I feel like my blog needs more direction so here are the projects I want to start up:

1. Write more things to do with books

I used to write all the time about books and review them and I miss discussing them especially as I don't do English A Level.

2. I want to write what I used to vlog

I used to have a YouTube channel which became really hard to manage as I went into sixth form/got less energy. However the content I used to make used to be interesting for me like: what was going up and down in a month and growing up. I want to make my blog more like what Rosianna's channel is like

3. Take more photos

I used to take a load of photos for my blog but that's dried up so I do want to restart that

Hopefully I can manage this.

Current mood: 16GB of hell

My phone is officially out of memory so I've started axing all of my apps that I barely use. I'm sure at some point there will be ramifications but right now it's so nice to only have the necessities. And Campus Life.  Out of the 25 apps I've kept I have 12 that are social media which is a little scary. I deleted tumblr. I'll inevitably regret that when I have my insomnia (insomnia is often accompanied by either going on the hypermobility tag or zebra tag. Insomnia is not a particularly positive time for me)

I finished Afterworlds by Scott Westerfeld that really made me want to write my book but a) it also made me terrified b) still no plots ever come to mind. I mean I started this book last year but I was so self indulgent with it. I may start writing it again despite the fact I still don't have any definite ending. Who doesn't have an ending?

Mocks are over though hail the four day weekend.

Currently listening: Ladder Song by Lorde
Currently reading: Aurorarama

Current mood: goal setting

I am now one day into 2015.

Today is the day of New Years resolutions. I realised last night that it's a very intimate question because it feels like someone is asking you "what are the bits you'd like to change about yourself?" Maybe that's why it's so hard when we fail.

I have set a lot of goals today. I had a lazy stay-at-home revision day and as a result I made myself do a lot of stuff - do a chemistry paper, read a book, get rid of three items of clothing. I still managed to not do some of the important things which is frustrating but I did achieve a lot.

I'm really starting to lag when it comes to revision. I'm just losing motivation because I don't feel like I'm progressing, especially in Chemistry. In Biology when I mess up I can just learn what I've forgotten but in Chemistry I learn and learn and I'm still stuck at a stupid glass ceiling. It's tough to stay motivated.

And now, of course, my body is showing me the ramifications of going out two nights in a row. I haven't had a pain like this since I went blind from pain in the summer so that's fun. 

I sound very negative and I swear I'm not, just frustrated about revision and about my body.

Goodnight, 2015.

Currently listening: Fearless (album) by Taylor Swift

Currently reading: The Rum Diaries by Hunter S. Thompson 

Books I read in 2014

January

1. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens (★★★★☆)

2.  It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini (★★★★★)
3. Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins (★★★★★)
4. Chopsticks by Jessica Anthony (★★☆☆☆)
5. This Is What Happy Looks Like by Jennifer E. Smith (★★☆☆☆)
6. When You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead (★★★★★)
7. Eve & Adam by Michael Grant and Katherine Applegate (★★★☆☆)
8. The Gift: Creativity and the Artist in the Modern World by Lewis Hyde (★★★☆☆)
9. The Lover's Dictionary by David Levithan (★★★☆☆)
10. Enron by Lucy Prebble (★★★★☆)
11. How I Live Now by Meg Rosoff  (★★☆☆☆)
12. The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion (★★★★☆)

February

Reread - Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone by J K Rowling
13. The Encyclopedia of Early Earth by Isabel Greenberg (★★★★★)
Reread - Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by J K Rowling
14. Me and Earl and the Dying Girl by Jesse Andrews (★☆☆☆☆)
15. Richard III by William Shakespeare (★★★★☆)
16. Lola and the Boy Next Door by Stephanie Perkins (★★★★☆)
17. Hokey Pokey by Jerry Spinelli  (★★★★★)
18. The Bone Dragon by Alexia Casale (★★★★★)
19. No and Me by Delphine de Vigan (★★★☆☆)
20. Rooftoppers by Katherine Rundell (★★★★☆)
21. Blood on My Hands by Todd Strasser (★★★★☆)

March

22. Matched by Ally Condie (★★★☆☆)
23. Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut (★★★★☆)
24. The Assassin's Blade by Sarah J. Maas (★★★★★)
25. The Demigod Diaries by Rick Riordan (★★★★☆)
26. Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood (★★★★☆)
27. Half Bad by Sally Green (★★★★☆)

April

28. Be More Chill by Ned Vizzini (★★★★☆)
29. The Isobel Journal by Isobel Harrop (★★★☆☆)
30. Struck By Lightning: The Carson Phillips Journal by Chris Colfer (★★☆☆☆)
31. The Boy in the Smoke by Maureen Johnson (★★★☆☆)
32. Circle Line: Around London in a Small Boat by Steffan Meyric Hughes (★★★☆☆)
33. The Year of the Rat by Clare Furniss (★★★☆☆)
34. Anne Frank: The Anne Frank House Authorized Graphic Biography by Sid Jacobson, Ernie Colón (★★★★★)
35. The Letter for the King by Tonke Dragt (★★★★★)
36. Scarlet by Marissa Meyer (★★★★☆)

May

37. Lean In: For Graduates by Sheryl Sandberg (★★★★★)
38. Just One Day by Gayle Forman (★★★★★)
39. The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown (★★★★☆)
40. Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater (★★★☆☆)
41. The Treatment by Suzanne Young (★★☆☆☆)
42. The Boyfriend List by E. Lockhart (★★★☆☆)
43. How to Worry Less about Money by John Armstrong (★★★★☆)
44. Rebel Belle by Rachel Hawkins (★★☆☆☆)
45. We Were Liars by E. Lockhart (★★★★★)
46. Ann Veronica by H.G. Wells (★★★★☆)
47. Start Here: Read Your Way Into 25 Amazing Authors by Jeff O'Neal (★★☆☆☆)
48. A Thousand Cuts by Simon Lelic (★★★★☆)

June

49. Pretty Little Liars by Sara Shepherd (★★★★☆)
50. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton (★★★★★)
51. Flawless (Pretty Little Liars, #2) by Sara Shepard (★★★☆☆)
52. Since You've Been Gone by Morgan Matson (★★★★★)
53. Everything Leads to You by Nina LaCour (★★★★☆)
54. To All the Boys I've Loved Before by Jenny Han (★★★☆☆)
55. Perfect (Pretty Little Liars, #3) by Sara Shepard (★★★★☆)
56. Unbelievable (Pretty Little Liars, #4) by Sara Shepard (★★★★☆)
57. Heir of Fire (Throne of Glass #3) by Sarah J. Maas (★★★★★)
58. The Character Of Rain by Amélie Nothomb (★★★☆☆)

July

59. The Seven Daughters Of Eve by Bryan Sykes (★★★☆☆)
60. She Is Not Invisible by Marcus Sedgwick (★★★★☆)
61. Landline by Rainbow Rowell (★★★★☆)
62. Popular: Vintage Wisdom for a Modern Geek by Maya Van Wagenen (★★★★☆)
63. The Bone Season (The Bone Season, #1) by Samantha Shannon (★★★★★)
64. Adorkable by Sarra Manning (★★★★☆)
65. Vivian Versus the Apocalypse by Katie Coyle (★★★★☆)
66. Deep Blue by Jennifer Donnelly (★★★☆☆)
67. The Giver by Lois Lowry (★★★☆☆)
68. Reboot by Amy Tintera (★★☆☆☆)
69. The Time Machine by HG Wells (★★★☆☆)
70. September Girls by Bennett Madison (★★★☆☆)
71. Heart-Shaped Bruise by Tanya Byrne (★★★☆☆)
72. Dorothy Must Die by Danielle Paige (★★☆☆☆)
73. The Wish by D S Affleck (★★★★☆)

August

74. Missing Microbes: How the Overuse of Antibiotics Is Fueling Our Modern Plagues by Martin J. Blaser (★★★★★)
75. Winger by Andrew Smith (★★★★☆)
76. The Island of Dr. Moreau by H.G. Wells (★★☆☆☆)
77. Patience by John Coates (★★★★☆)
78. Genome: the Autobiography of a Species in 23 Chapters by Matt Ridley (★☆☆☆☆)
79. Percy Jackson and the Greek Gods by Rick Riordan (★★★☆☆)
80. The Future of Us by Jay Asher and Carolyn Mackler (★★☆☆☆)
81. Amy and Roger's Epic Detour by Morgan Matson (★★★★★)
82. Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides (★★★★★)

September

83. Orange is the New Black by Piper Kerman (★★★☆☆)
84. The Humans by Matt Haig (★★★★★)
85. These Days Are Ours by Michelle Haimoff (★★★★☆)

October

86. How to Read Literature by Terry Eagleton (★★★★☆)
87. Angelfall (Penryn & the End of Days, #1) by Susan Ee (★★★☆☆)
88. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly: A Memoir of Life in Death by Jean-Dominique Bauby (★★★★☆)
89. The Wife by Meg Wolitzer (★★★★★)
90. Side Effects May Vary by Julie Murphy (★★★☆☆)
91. Belzhar by Meg Wolitzer (★★★★★)
92. The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera (★★★☆☆)
93.The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance – What Women Should Know by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman (★★★★☆)
94. The Age of Magic by Ben Okri  (★★★☆☆)
95. The Truth about the Harry Quebert Affair by by Joël Dicker (★★★★★)

November

96. Horrorstör by Grady Hendrix (★★★☆☆)
97. The Opposite of Loneliness: Essays and Stories by Marina Keegan (★★★★★)
98. The Silkworm (Cormoran Strike, #2) by Robert Galbraith (★★★★★)
99. Shadow and Bone (The Grisha, #1) by Leigh Bardugo (★★★★★)

December

Reread - Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban by J K Rowling
December

100. Bad Feminist: Essays by Roxane Gay (★★★☆☆)

101. Wicked (Pretty Little Liars, #5) by Sara Shepard (★★☆☆☆)

102.Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac by Gabrielle Zevin (★★★☆☆)

103. Runaways by Beth Szymkowski (★★★☆☆)

104. The Naturals (The Naturals, #1) by Jennifer Lynn Barnes (★★★★☆)

105. Of Poseidon (The Syrena Legacy, #1) by Anna Banks (★★★★★)

2014 Reading Challenge

Everything I read from worst to best in 2014

107. Genome: the Autobiography of a Species in 23 Chapters by Matt Ridley
106. Me and Earl and the Dying Girl by Jesse Andrews
105. How I Live Now by Meg Rosoff
104. The Island of Dr. Moreau by H.G. Wells
103. Dorothy Must Die by Danielle Paige
102. Chopsticks by Jessica Anthony
101. This Is What Happy Looks Like by Jennifer E. Smith

100. Struck By Lightning: The Carson Phillips Journal by Chris Colfer
99. Start Here: Read Your Way Into 25 Amazing Authors by Jeff O'Neal
98. Rebel Belle by Rachel Hawkins
97. The Future of Us by Jay Asher and Carolyn Mackler
96. Wicked (Pretty Little Liars, #5) by Sara Shepard
95. The Treatment by Suzanne Young
94. Reboot by Amy Tintera
93. The Character Of Rain by Amélie Nothomb
92. The Gift: Creativity and the Artist in the Modern World by Lewis Hyde
91. The Lover's Dictionary by David Levithan

90. No and Me by Delphine de Vigan
89. Deep Blue by Jennifer Donnelly
88. Shiver by Maggie Stiefvater
87. Circle Line: Around London in a Small Boat by Steffan Meyric Hughes
86. The Unbearable Lightness of Being by Milan Kundera
85. To All the Boys I've Loved Before by Jenny Han
84. Flawless (Pretty Little Liars, #2) by Sara Shepard
83. Eve & Adam by Michael Grant and Katherine Applegate
82. The Year of the Rat by Clare Furniss
81. The Time Machine by HG Wells

80. Horrorstör by Grady Hendrix
79. Percy Jackson and the Greek Gods by Rick Riordan
78. The Seven Daughters Of Eve by Bryan Sykes
77. Orange is the New Black by Piper Kerman
76. The Age of Magic by Ben Okri
75. Bad Feminist: Essays by Roxane Gay
74. The Boyfriend List by E. Lockhart
73. The Isobel Journal by Isobel Harrop
72. Of Triton (The Syrena Legacy, #1) by Anna Banks
71. Runaways by Beth Szymkowski

70. The Boy in the Smoke by Maureen Johnson
69. Side Effects May Vary by Julie Murphy
68. Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac by Gabrielle Zevin
67. Matched by Ally Condie
66. Heart-Shaped Bruise by Tanya Byrne
65. The Giver by Lois Lowry
64. Angelfall (Penryn & the End of Days, #1) by Susan Ee
63. September Girls by Bennett Madison
62. The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion
61. Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut

60. The Demigod Diaries by Rick Riordan
59. Deep Blue by Jennifer Donnelly
58. Perfect (Pretty Little Liars, #3) by Sara Shepard
57. Unbelievable (Pretty Little Liars, #4) by Sara Shepard
56. The Diving Bell and the Butterfly: A Memoir of Life in Death by Jean-Dominique Bauby
55. Scarlet by Marissa Meyer
54. Popular: Vintage Wisdom for a Modern Geek by Maya Van Wagenen
53. How to Worry Less about Money by John Armstrong
52. Adorkable by Sarra Manning
51. She Is Not Invisible by Marcus Sedgwick

50. Vivian Versus the Apocalypse by Katie Coyle
49. Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood
48. Rooftoppers by Katherine Rundell
47. Lola and the Boy Next Door by Stephanie Perkins
46. A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens
45. Pretty Little Liars by Sara Shepherd
44. Blood on My Hands by Todd Strasser
43. A Thousand Cuts by Simon Lelic
42. Landline by Rainbow Rowell
41. Be More Chill by Ned Vizzini

40. Richard III by William Shakespeare
39. How to Read Literature by Terry Eagleton
38. The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance – What Women Should Know by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman
37. The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown
36. Winger by Andrew Smith
35. The Wish by D S Affleck 
34. These Days Are Ours by Michelle Haimoff
33. Everything Leads to You by Nina LaCour
32. Patience by John Coates
31. Ann Veronica by H.G. Wells

30. Enron by Lucy Prebble
29. The Naturals (The Naturals, #1) by Jennifer Lynn Barnes
28. Half Bad by Sally Green
27. Hokey Pokey by Jerry Spinelli
26. When You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead
25. The Humans by Matt Haig
24. Lean In: For Graduates by Sheryl Sandberg
23. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
22. Anne Frank: The Anne Frank House Authorized Graphic Biography by Sid Jacobson, Ernie Colón
21. The Encyclopedia of Early Earth by Isabel Greenberg

20. The Opposite of Loneliness: Essays and Stories by Marina Keegan
19. Belzhar by Meg Wolitzer
18. The Wife by Meg Wolitzer
17. The Letter for the King by Tonke Dragt
16. Just One Day by Gayle Forman
15. Of Poseidon (The Syrena Legacy, #1) by Anna Banks
14. The Silkworm (Cormoran Strike, #2) by Robert Galbraith
13. We Were Liars by E. Lockhart
12. Since You've Been Gone by Morgan Matson
11. Missing Microbes: How the Overuse of Antibiotics Is Fueling Our Modern Plagues by Martin J. Blaser

10. Shadow and Bone (The Grisha, #1) by Leigh Bardugo

9. Anna and the French Kiss by Stephanie Perkins

8. It's Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini

7. Middlesex by Jeffrey Eugenides

6. The Assassin's Blade by Sarah J. Maas

5. Amy and Roger's Epic Detour by Morgan Matson

4. The Truth about the Harry Quebert Affair by by Joël Dicker

3. The Bone Season (The Bone Season, #1) by Samantha Shannon

2. Heir of Fire by Sarah J. Maas

1. The Bone Dragon by Alexia Casale